Rules for New Years Resolutions

New Years’ Resolutions¹ are an odd thing on the face of it.
That we wait 365 days to think of ways to better ourselves seems foolish; the idea that something about an arbitrarily changing date means we’re suddenly capable of achieving these new, fantastic, things – unlikely.

Well, maybe not exactly.. In the depth of winter, huddled against the dark and the cold, off work, with time to reflect, traversing the cultural pressure to spend money and over indulge, surrounded by family and/or loved ones, engaging in more of the simple things; group meals, games, reading, conversation..
Maybe these conditions are, in fact, perfect for making a few goals?

And, because I like having goals and I enjoy a to-do list more than I ought, I have made some.. but as anyone who has has the dis/pleasure of working with me knows, you have to do them right. So here are the rules for New Year’s Resolutions ;)

1.) Things that can never be completed ARE NOT ALLOWED.

“get fit” <-- NOT ALLOWED
"be less stressed" <-- NOT ALLOWED
"read more" <-- NOT ALLOWED

As a general rule, I subscribe to that terrible 'SMART' mnemonic of specific, measurable, attainable, realistic and timely. If your resolution isn't all of those things, how can you do it, and will you even know if you have?!

For example, the non-goal "get fit" is vastly improved by adding specific, measurable and time-bound qualities e.g. "do 30+ mins of exercise 3x a week". It's up to you if it is attainable or realistic, of course. For me it wouldn't be, so I would add to that with "do 30+ mins of exercise 3x a week, on average / most weeks". NOW it is a permitted goal!

2.) No do-overs.

If it has been on a previous year’s list and you didn’t manage it – has something changed? Because if you haven’t prioritised it for the last 365 days, unless there is a very good reason you’re about to start, it doesn’t belong back on your list..

3.) Listen to SCIENCE

It’s been fairly well established that certain things can increase our liklihood of meeting goals. For example, it’s important not to have an inbuilt “failure point” – e.g. a goal that says: go for a run three times a week fails the first week you get ill and you only manage to go out once. Once ‘failed’ it is immensely difficult to keep motivated towards the goal, hence buffers such as ‘on average’ or ‘most weeks’ (do decide how you measure that, though. Is ‘most weeks’ 3 in a month, or 27 out of the year?..)
It has also been fairly consistenly proven that making goals public and having peer support increases your chances of success, particularly for women.
And, for all, not over-taxing is essential. Comfortably setting and keeping three resolutions is psychologically far better for your motivation than setting 10 and breaking 7.²

4.) Understand your motivations.

So you want to get out of debt, you’ve made a plan and it’s a SMART goal. Great! But why? “Because I should” won’t work for long³ but “because the stress is making me miserable” or “if I repair my credit I can look into buying xx next year” might. They’re very different too, those examples. Do you know if you’re usually positively or negatively motivated? For me avoiding upset works far better than chasing gain.
Being clear about your motivation means that when you’re tempted to cheat you can focus on the misery you’re trying to spare yourself / look forward to the outcome. Basic Buddhist theory straddles this neatly. Bad habits bring you and others misery, whilst external good creates internal good. A kind of micro-Karma affecting only you which you can witness day in day out. c.f hangovers! But whatever it is, being clear in your own mind about your motivations now means you wont find yourself suddenly struggling for reasons when it comes to the inevitable point of temptation..

5.) Measure it!

Tracking your progress isn’t just a nice-to-have for motivation – it actually statistically increases your chances of success. Observation changes things. This might be as simple as tracking the balance of your savings account, making a chart with your running time/ distance/ recovery period, or gold stars on the calendar *ahem* ;) But measuring your progress ensures your tasks wont be forgotten, gives early warning to slippage, reinforcement when things are going well, and means that this time next year you can look back and say, with evidence, 2012 was the year I made that change.

So, yes.
Jan 1st might seem an arbitrary time to start, but all it takes is a beginning and this one’s as good as any other. To a happier, Happy New Year. xx

(Part II, coming soon, my resolutions)

¹ I was going to blog about my Christmas and New Year but I figured I could let slide a blog post consisting exclusively of “Squee! <3 <3 <3" in 36pt caps ;)
² There are some REALLY interesting psychological studies about will-power and over taxing. I didn’t want to add them here necessarily, but if you’re intrested let me know in the comments and I’ll elaborate.
³Note to self re: draft blogpost about the word ‘should’ – finish and post it